Well, I have known for a long time that I want to do something with my mantel besides let it be the catch-all surface for junk in our house. I have one child who is capable of reaching just about anything he wants, but has grown up knowing that things on the mantel are mostly off-limits unless he has specific permission. He runs right over just about every other rule in the house with a big fat steamroller, so I don't know why he would choose to respect this one, but whatever. I have another child who is too young to disobey the rules and will pull down anything above knee-height onto his wee soft bald head. Also, in the spirit of honesty, I don't like clutter so keep crap from accumulating anywhere else down to a pretty strict minimum.
So there is the first roadblock I face every time I get a wild hair (hare?) to do something about my hideous lack of hearthkeeping skillz. We have no other place in the house to keep things where THE CHILDREN will not mess with them. Therefore, the things that find themselves on the mantel can sometimes be really, ummm, aesthetically unpleasing. Here, let's have a look (shall we?):
Now, I could list everything on the mantel and that would be BOR-RING (not like this! which is FUN!). So instead, I will hit the highlights (L-R):
- Three pairs of my sunglasses because I am quite literally blinded by any significant amount of sunlight (also, am pale and moody = probably a sexy vampyre).
- A basket that holds the grown-ups' wallets and keys (and whatever else my husband, Z, throws in there before I get all up in his face about it).
- Some bills
- A hammer
- A voltage tester
- Monopoly money
- Some fancy pants LED lightbulb thing
- A book about how to grill (yes, this photo was taken TODAY, in JANUARY, in OREGON--what of it?)
- A really nice Danish crystal bowl holding a matchbox and some really ugly Christmas candy.
- A box of Kleenex (no, they're not really kleenex but I can't say the word "tissues" out loud any more than I can say the word "moist")
- Aaaaand, a way-undersized Parrish print that was cut out of a calender (calendar? clearly I have learned nothing from Swistle and am hereby going to spell it calendur from here on out) and framed over ten years ago by my sister, who then tired of it and was unable to sell it at her garage sale for $.50 so my mom hauled it all the way here from Kansas to give it to the poor decoratingly-challenged younger sibling.
- You have to tell me what the hell to put on/around my mantel so that I will quit hating that area right in the middle of my house. Please note that clearing it all off looks terrible and empty and putting random vases full or rocks and crap would make me feel like I was living in a model home.
- Until you do, I will continue to post updates like this one about what is on my mantel. It's boring and tedious for everyone, people, so let's not let that happen.
Also, perhaps it is relevant that I am not made of money and cannot seem to find any big space-filling pieces of art that I don't hate for under $200. Also perhaps relevant: I live in a 1925 craftsman-ish bungalow, and that brick fireplace that you see there? was PAINTED by some idiot in a fairly hideous shade of glossy cool brown so that it looks like it is PLASTIC. The beige electrical plate that you see floating a few inches above the mantel? That's not centered over the fireplace. So it's really hard to hide. Clearly, we just gave up trying.
ALRIGHT THEN! LET'S DO THIS!
4 comments:
Do you have any small pretty objects stashed away somewhere else? Small dolls, paperweights etc? That you bought/kept because they appealed to you? Or that you have had since childhood? Or some decorative candles someone gave you? A mantelpiece is perfect for making little still-life groups of your baubles. Go for asymmetry and contrasting textures. Don't space them at regular intervals, or it'll look like a shop. (Oops I've turned into an annoying magazine article now, sorry.)
Yes, showhomes look horrible because they're trying too hard, and they have no soul. But if the objects have real meaning for you, they can look cool and funky.
Personally I'm unable to stop myself generating little shrines of much-loved objects. And I should probably get out a lot more.
I *don't* have any collections of things, but maybe now I can start indulging whenever I see cheapy things when I'm out cruising junk/antique shops with my kid (he loooves those shops--me, not so much).
Actually, I take that back. I *do* have a collection. When I was between the ages of about 12-17, I had this RAGING obsession with Adam Ant. And, just for the record, this was in the early nineties--waaay past his prime. But, erm, I don't think hanging up my Tiger Beat-ish pinups over the fireplace is going to appeal to ANYONE at this point.
Yours is a VERY good suggestion, though. I've always liked those Russian nesting dolls and my grandma has a collection of Faberge eggs that maybe I can inherit one day. For now I just need to find something appealing and inexpensive to start a collection of--FUN!
YES, let's spell it calendur. I can remember that.
If I were your decorator (decoratur?), and what a terrible mistake THAT would be, I would find a way to KEEP the crap on the mantel but make it LOOK better. So I would find several pretty long-rectangular bin/basket things and put them along the mantle, and then I could toss the crap into them. I'm thinking of painted metal decorative planters or something, which I may be making up but am pretty sure I've seen at stores like Home Goods.
For over the mantel, how would you feel about a HUGE CLOCK? I got one from Target for our large foyer wall and I still like it. I think they're around $50, though mine was on clearance for $12.50ish.
THAT is a good idea, too. I may just have to combine them. What? What's that? I have an excuse to go wander around Ikea in search of a storage solution? Hmmm, OK!
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